One day, an ape escaped from the Zoo. They searched for him everywhere in every district. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as in the newspapers, but no one reported seeing the ape. At last, the ape was found in the Public Library. Officials of the zoo and the animal [...]
Revelation or Evolution
For Thought
“Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they do make wonderful ancestors.” – David Brenner
Eloquence
A distinguished clergyman and a friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the two were only one stroke apart. The clergyman teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force…slicing the ball deep into the woods. The clergyman glared, and bit his lip while [...]
One Way To Get It In The Neck…
“Most people are pretty scared of werewolves, but I bet if you saw one crying because the other wolves had made fun of him, you’d be like me and would probably feel sorry for him and try to pet him.” “That was my first mistake.”
Sounds Fine to me….
“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. “Keep it,” the cop said, “then when you’ve collected four of them you get a bicycle.”
Detail
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance. “That is one smart dog,” the man commented. “He’s not that smart,” said one of the losing players. “Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.”
Peace Insurance
Getting away from their high-stress work, a couple spend relaxing weekends in their motor home. Finding their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: “Insurance [...]
Unsettled !
“A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.” Don Quinn
Stretched Truth.
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher…I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.” The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. The second [...]
What It Means
Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by. She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn’t home, because he was performing an appendectomy. “My,” said the census taker, “that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?” [...]