The Most Important Discoveries

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agriculture, invented food. Woman discovered food, invented diet. Man discovered friendship, invented love. Woman discovered love, invented marriage. Man discovered woman, invented sex. [...]

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A belch of a rhyme

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

A Belch is just one gust of wind, That cometh from thy Heart… But should it take the downward trend, It turns into a Fart

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Catch Me If You Can – Knock Knock

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

Catch Me If you Can – Click through for YouTube Video

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Congress Approves Americans With No Abilities Act

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

WASHINGTON, DC–On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack [...]

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NASA Blondes

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

There’s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician “I want to go to the moon”. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says “I want to go to Mars”. He says she can go next week. The blonde [...]

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25 Year Itch

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do [...]

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Spell Checker

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid [...]

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Job Applicant Speak

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

What they say… and what they really mean… I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people [...]

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Revenge!

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?”

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