Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category
The Rabbit
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. [...]
The Salesman and the Dog
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, ‘Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.’ ‘Incredible!’ [...]
Animal Sounds
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her [...]
Animal Crackers
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken” the boy explained. “I’m [...]
Why Puppies Are Better Than Boyfriends
1. Puppies won’t ask you if it’s the best puppy you’ve ever had. 2. A puppy always comes to you when you call it. 3. If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with no strings attached. 4. All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever is feed it [...]
The Rabbit
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. [...]
Training Your Human
Training your human is a thankless task. “Why bother with it?”, some kittens may ask. The fate of the world is the issue at hand, as felines worldwide stake a claim for their land. Make no bones about it, we cats own the joint. We spray in the corners to drive home the point. Some [...]
The Preacher’s Donkey
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, “Hallelujah!” The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, “Amen!” The [...]
Vampire Bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some [...]