Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
Eloquence
A distinguished clergyman and a friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the two were only one stroke apart. The clergyman teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force…slicing the ball deep into the woods. The clergyman glared, and bit his lip while [...]
Bragging About their Children
Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children. The first one says, “You know, my son graduated first in his class from Stanford. He’s now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago.” The second woman says, “You know my son graduated first in his class from Harvard. He’s now a lawyer, making [...]
Finding Her Place
On her way back from the concession stand, Julie asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?” Expecting an apology, the man said, “Indeed you did.” Julie nodded, and noted, “Oh good. Then this is my row.”
Basketball Q&A
How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans! What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters? A: They’re always dribbling. Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog? A: One drools, the other dribbles. Q: What [...]
Church Football
Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship. Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. Backfield-in-Motion – Making a [...]
First Football Game
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game. ‘I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,’ she said. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked. ‘Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’
Fishing or Church
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. [...]
Olympic Village
Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.” Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, “Angus MacPherson. [...]
Basketball Team Pictures
Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc. One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, [...]