25 Year Itch

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do [...]

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Congress Approves Americans With No Abilities Act

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

WASHINGTON, DC–On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack [...]

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Arkansas Residency Application

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

Last Name: ________________ (last) First Name: (Check appropriate box) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) [...]

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Job Applicant Speak

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

What they say… and what they really mean… I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people [...]

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A belch of a rhyme

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

A Belch is just one gust of wind, That cometh from thy Heart… But should it take the downward trend, It turns into a Fart

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The Most Important Discoveries

Posted by joker1 on Saturday, May 21st, 2011

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agriculture, invented food. Woman discovered food, invented diet. Man discovered friendship, invented love. Woman discovered love, invented marriage. Man discovered woman, invented sex. [...]

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NASA Blondes

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

There’s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician “I want to go to the moon”. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says “I want to go to Mars”. He says she can go next week. The blonde [...]

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Revenge!

Posted by chiefjoker on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her [...]

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Archive for the ‘Yo Mama’ Category

Yo Momma so Smelly

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 - Yo Mama

Yo momma so smelly the government make her wear a Biohazard warning Yo momma so smelly she made Right Guard call for backup. Yo momma so smelly even the dogs won’t smell her. Yo momma so smelly an old blind geezer walking by asked her ‘yo, how much for the shrimp platter?” Yo momma so [...]

Yo Momma So Nasty

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 - Yo Mama

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach. Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so [...]

Yo Mama So Poor

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 - Yo Mama

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.” Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when she goes [...]

Yo Mama So Ugly

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011 - Yo Mama

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.” Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.” Yo mama [...]

Yo Mama So Fat

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011 - Yo Mama

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo” Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo mama so fat were in her right now Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise Yo mama so fat she [...]

Yo Mama’s so Poor….

Saturday, May 21st, 2011 - Yo Mama

Her face is on the front of a food stamp. That your family ate cornflakes with a fork to save milk. When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a rat tried to steal me wallet. She waves an ice lolly around and calls it air conditioning. Burglars break into yo mama’s home [...]

Yo Mama’s so Skinny….

Saturday, May 21st, 2011 - Yo Mama

She hula hoops with a cheerio. She has to wear a belt with spandex. She turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo Mama’s so Nasty…

Saturday, May 21st, 2011 - Yo Mama

She made right guard turn left.

Yo Mama’s So Bald….

Saturday, May 21st, 2011 - Yo Mama

A wig wouldn’t help! You can see what’s on her mind That she took a shower and got brain-washed.

Yo Mama’s so Stupid….

Saturday, May 21st, 2011 - Yo Mama

She got locked in a grocery store and starved! It took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!