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NASA Blondes
There’s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician “I want to go to the moon”. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says “I want to go to Mars”. He says she can go next week. The blonde [...]
Congress Approves Americans With No Abilities Act
WASHINGTON, DC–On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack [...]
Catch Me If You Can – Knock Knock
Catch Me If you Can – Click through for YouTube Video
Arkansas Residency Application
Last Name: ________________ (last) First Name: (Check appropriate box) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) [...]
Job Applicant Speak
What they say… and what they really mean… I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people [...]
Ceiling & Stars
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The Most Important Discoveries
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agriculture, invented food. Woman discovered food, invented diet. Man discovered friendship, invented love. Woman discovered love, invented marriage. Man discovered woman, invented sex. [...]
A belch of a rhyme
A Belch is just one gust of wind, That cometh from thy Heart… But should it take the downward trend, It turns into a Fart